Today, I am sharing a karma story which lead to me believing in Karma. First and foremost I want to say that I am not glad of everything that happened at the end of this story. It is pretty personal story that I think I am now ready to talk about and also I think it is pretty entertaining. Unfortunately, this series of events did mentally affect me for a long time. However, it thought me a few life lessons that I will never forget. I briefly discussed this topic on the Things I would tell My Younger Self birthday post here.
Our story begins…
On July 2009 when I was a junior in high school. I had a friend on that class who sat behind me, so often I had to turn around to talk to her. On one of this occasions, I noticed a guy who sat at the end of the row next to mine. He was looking at me already so it was one of those moments when you “stare at each others eyes.” A few months later we met because we had a friend in common, so he and his friend began to hang out with us. I find out he had a girlfriend and that they had been together for two years (we were 16 at the time). Also, I found out he was my neighbor, and we lived so close to each other than I could see his bedroom window from my bedroom window.
Let’s call him Mike for the sake of privacy.
Some background info for y’all
I think it is also time for us to talk about his background so that you guys understand what kind of people he and his family were (*are). We both grew up in Tijuana, Mexico, this means culturally we are see things a little different. Tijuana is a city located right next to the border. Some people do pretty well economically. If you are imagining everything as a small little town or village you are wrong. Tijuana is a pretty big city with really nice neighborhoods, and like any other city with horrible neighborhoods.
Mike grew up in an economically stable family, they were probably middle class. However, in the area he grew up was mostly surrounded by people who were actually wealthy. Also, most of his friends from Tijuana were wealthy, they had pretty big houses, they attended private schools, heck one even had a maid. So, Mike’s mom though she was wealthy, acted as if she was wealthy, with prejudices and bitchiness. But all of this was an illusion. I am mostly discussing his mom because she is a huge part of this story.
Wealth, Prejudice and Color Racism
Also, “wealthy” Mexicans come with some racism and prejudice ideas. For Mexicans, the darker you are the poorer and uneducated you are, so they see you as less. Usually these “wealthy” Mexicans tend to be catholic and attend mass every Sunday. Which I considered funny being that they are a bunch of hypocrites.
At this time, I was going though my rebellious teenager times. I hated anything related with religion, and i dressed as this emo-punk-rocker chick. I ditched school a lot because I thought I was cool. Also I wasn’t doing too great academically because I did not cared at all. My only ambition in life was to be a graphic designer. However, I did not had a plan on how I was going to achieve this. On the other hand, Mike and his family already had a plan for him. He did not ditched school. Even thought he was in a band and dress like a rocker he was not rebellious at all. They already had a plan that he was going to attend San Diego State University and graduate as a engineer in robotics (sound fancy right?).
Hey You I don’t Like your Girlfriend
Some time after we met Mike broke up with his girlfriend. I knew it was my turn, I knew Mike liked me back and patiently waited. During this time his friend was dating a girl from his high school but broke up like two weeks later. Soon, the girl began telling everyone that she liked Mike. Mike’s friend (BEST FRIEND) told me he still had feelings for her. So, I advised Mike not to date her because he was going to ruin his friendship with his allegedly BEST FRIEND.
Unfortunately, he did not listen to me and began dating her. I was so heart broken because by this time I had spent so much time with him. I obviously fell in love with him and the worst of all is that he knew.
There is nothing more sad than the death of an illusion
Him knowing was worst than him not knowing, because I feel that he took advantage of me. He used me to feed his ego and treat me as he wanted. He would do things on purpose so that I would see him with the girl. Also, he would do things on purpose for me to think I still had a chance with him and hang in there. He would flirt with me, tickle me, grab my hands etc. Now, I think this pretty much narcissistic behavior, where his is self-centered and selfish. He only cared about himself and himself only. He did not cared about me, not even as a friend, and he did not cared about his allegedly ” best friend”.
Of course, I did not see this. I idolized him, I put him high in a pedestal, I did as I was told and took advantage of every chance I had to be around him. Also, I became kind of like a side kick, I was there in every band gig, every party, after school, by his side. I was loyal to him, I did not date anyone else because I had no eyes for anyone else. Also, I was so focused on winning his heart over that I did not see his dark side.
This is exactly Paramore’s song “Misery Business” Did they stole my story?
I waited for eight months and they broke up. Actually she broke up with him because she liked someone else from her high school. I was so freaking excited because I knew that waiting all of that time was going to finally pay off. Indeed, it payed off. As Valentine’s day approached I noticed the changes. Now he was after me all the time, he would walk me home, stay outside talking for a really long time, etc.
On Valentine’s day I actually got a present from him, it was a heart box filled with skittles (my fave candy at the time). Moving forward to two weeks later after Valentine’s day. We were at his house the whole day, cuddled in the sofa and he kissed me. After a long time, he walked me home and asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. Without any sort of hesitation I obviously said yes. I got home, went into my room and I cried. Yes, I cried mere tears of happiness because finally he was mine and mine only. It was the happiest week I remember ever feeling. Not because I haven’t been in love with anyone else but because there is nothing like teenage love. Or in my case an apparent obsession.
One week later…
He broke up with me. The explanation I got was that during the weekend he received a letter from San Diego State University saying that he had been admitted. His mom told him that I wasn’t good enough to be with him. She told him that if he kept the ridiculous relationship she was going to send him to his dad’s house in Mexico and that he would not be able to go to school.
I feel that he didn’t had any true feelings for me, that I was some sort of a cover up because his ex had broke up with him for someone else. Obviously the mom is a manipulator but if he truly had some feelings for me he would had never broken up with me.
KARMA IS A B
High school ended, I graduated (barely) and entered South Western Community College. One fine day I was walking and Mike was walking towards me. I was pretty surprised and ask “What are you doing here?” and he said “My admission to San Diego State was revoked during the summer.” I started laughing my booty off in front of him. I thought it was the most funny thing ever because that was one of the reasons of why he broke up with me… allegedly.
During this time I decided to stop talking to him. I noticed he would do things on purpose to make me jealous. So, I thought the healthiest thing for me and my broken heart was to separate myself from him because he was a toxic person in my life. The last time we had contact he said something dumb and I flipped him off. He laugh because he thought I was joking. Only that I wasn’t. It was the real deal and we stopped talking.
6 YEARS LATER
I bumped into a high school friend and we talked about the old times. He told me Mike went off to Mexico City to study music. His family was mad because they wanted him to do something else. To study as an engineer and graduate from an American school.
I ended up going to San Diego State and graduating in the science department.
They not only hurt my feelings but my self-steem because for a long time I thought that I wasn’t pretty or worthy enough. Which lead to behavior that I am not fond of. I was looking for love in the wrong places and someone to make me feel “special.” As we all are aware by now, men noticed your low self worth and take advantage of that.
The reason of why I believe in Karma is because his mom and him, in my opinion did some evil, something mean. She thought I was not good enough to be with him. He thought I was not good enough to be him. Obviously, once they found out Mike was going to an university and not a community college furthered their opinion of me.
I truly believe that karma had something to do with: 1) him not going to SDSU although initially he was admitted. 2) He having to go with me to a community college. 3) He deciding not to go to university all together. 4) He following something as unpredictable as music. 5) He moving out to live in another city.
So guys, remember “don’t do things you wouldn’t like done to you.” This was so emotionally damaging to me like you wouldn’t know but also I feel they both payed their dues to what was done to me.